Day 7: January 7, 2014

Thankfulness for Bad Things Happening To Good People

One of the many things cancer has taught me is the same damn lesson I have to keep learning over and over again: I really don’t have control over very many things.

So, I choose to concentrate on things that will help me to be the best me I can be. I love sayings like the one I posted, not just because I’m kinda sentimental, but because they are TRUE.

My very best friend and I were sharing our hearts before my surgery a couple of weeks ago. It’s a blessing when a crisis leads people to strip themselves of pretense and just bear their soul. We discussed the age-old idea of why bad things happen to good people. We were crying a bunch when we talked about it. We literally held each other while we cried.

My moment of clarity on the subject had finally surfaced. While it isn’t a complete explanation, it did seem to make sense. The answer?

Because “good” people can spread a message of acceptance, empathy and grace in handling bad things. Their message can actually get out. People will look to them to find hope in the middle of their own bad stuff in the future.

When bad things happen to “bad” people, nobody cares, really. Which is sad, honestly. But it’s true. (“Bad” is another subject entirely to discuss, so I won’t dwell on that part here.)

While I’m not “good” in my own eyes (if there were a billboard that flashed all of my bad stuff to the world, you would be ashamed to know me), I have been tested in many ways with bad things and come out on top. I have been given tough opportunities to change, to grow, to be transparent and have actually had platforms to share all aspects of those journeys. I’d say that I have had the opportunity to “spread a message of acceptance, empathy and grace in handling bad things.”

So this is how I work through the question of “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Someone like myself; someone like those I know who have struggled or are struggling: We know that if we make it through, if we expect that we will become a better person in the end because of that bad thing (regardless of the outcome that cannot be controlled), then we will get to somehow help others. Otherwise, that “bad thing” and our experience with it is a waste and truly tragic.

Getting to help others. It is our purpose in this life. I believe that wholeheartedly. It gives those bad things meaning.

“Good” people can handle the bad things, ultimately. Because the “good” people will use it in the end to help others. That’s why the Universe allows it.

Maybe some of you won’t agree with all that. That’s ok. I hope you were able to follow my ramblings. Mornings for me are always filled with finding clarity of thought because I’m bitchslapped every time I wake up with the reality of my situation right now. I can’t control it. But I sure as heck can concentrate on the things I can control, like the things that really matter in the end. Have I loved? Have I lived gently? Have I gracefully let go of the things not meant for me? This is why my new motto is:

Live life. Love life. Impact others.

Have a wonderful day. Look for opportunities to love others who need it during their crisis. Look for ways the Universe can use your own bad stuff to help others make it through theirs. If you’re looking for it, the Universe will provide. I promise.

I love all of you deeply. And I mean it, too.


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