Day 22: January 22, 2014

Thankfulness for Comfy Chemo Chairs

Of course, now that I’m over the initial shock from yesterday’s news of no surgery but 6 months of chemo, I’m starting to gear up.

I’ve dusted off my boxing gloves.

I think there are benefits to knowing what chemo is like by previous experience. You’re just more ready. My nausea wasn’t bad last time and I didn’t lose much hair. I’m not quite so scared. But…

I’m also freaking the frack out because I remember how depressed I got. How much anxiety I felt knowing that I needed to get certain things done but wasn’t sure if I could do them (like finishing my classes in my Master’s program… which I did, thanks to my professors accommodating me). The reality is that I am very afraid of depression. Chemo can seriously screw with your brain. I am also afraid of not being able to work… because I really want to. I love my job. My staff is supportive and all, but it’s just MY desire to be there. I’m planning on working as much as possible, but it is so hard to predict.

So, I’m trying to look for something to be thankful for about the actual chemo treatments.

I’ve decided it’s the chairs. They’re super squishy and easy to sink into. Also the amazing staff at the infusion center at my oncologist’s office. They’re so nice. And all of the other people experiencing treatments at the same time as me. I can either be quiet or engage them in conversation. They are amazing people filled with more hope in one room than you’ll find at any rah-rah convention.

Yeah. I remember those chairs. And I’m thankful for them.

I will definitely look way better in those chairs than THIS scary dude. I make those chairs look GOOD!

Love, Chairy McChairster


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