Day 49: February 18, 2014

Thankfulness for Feelin’ Pretty

If you see my current profile picture, you will see the amazing wig that my friends Erin Rothfuss and Sarah Hardy-Cooper left on my doorstep as a gift to me for the future when my predicted hair-loss for this round of chemo treatments occurs.

I have worn it out a couple of times, just to get used to it. My kids haven’t seen it yet, until today.

I decided to start wearing it pretty much full time at this point. No, my hair isn’t gone, and if I learned anything from my first bout with cancer, I learned NOT to overreact and chop off my beautiful locks before I actually lose any hair. I had one episode of a few clumps falling out after my first round of chemo and completely freaked the frack out, even though I had convinced myself that “Hey, it’s just hair and not part of my identity.” When my beautiful Marcia Brady hair was clumped in my hands, believe you me, I thought differently and promptly chopped my hair all butchy. While I looked good with short hair, which I’d never had before in my life, I was really at a loss and didn’t feel pretty at all.

And I didn’t lose one more ounce of it the entire rest of the time.

Heather McHenry and I agreed that we wouldn’t do that this time.

However, since I have noticed my hair slowly thinning a bit, it’s officially wig time. It’s pretty awesome to get ready so quickly and look put together. And seriously, I feel so pretty in it.

Especially today when I walked downstairs to go out to Starbucks. Maddie stayed home from school today and was shocked at how awesome I looked.

So was the woman at the Dragonfly store, the barista dude at Starbucks, the toothless lady at the corner liquor store that I walked by, the two Hispanic girls at the Wendy’s drive thru and an admirer or two at various stoplights downtown. Every compliment they gave me boosted my confidence, and instead of telling them “Thanks, it’s just a wig,” I owned it with a beaming smile and said “Thank you so much!”

The clincher was when I picked Thomas up from school. He got in the car and the genuine look on his face of admiration was enough to convince me that I officially looked fabulous. He asked if I got my hair done and didn’t even think it WAS a wig. Throughout the evening, he kept staring at me and even said at one point: “Mom, you should wear that like, ALL the time.”

Thanks, all the people I saw today, for helping me to feel pretty. Especially you, Thomas. When your boy looks at you like you are a supermodel, you know you’ve got the right wig on.

So, despite my scars underneath my clothes and the icky feelings I get from chemo, this wig is really making me feel pretty. There truly is something to be said for having the right accoutrements to help you feel as beautiful on the outside as you know you are on the inside. Especially during cancer.

Love, Wiggin’ OutEmilyWithCoolWig

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