Day 148 & 149: May 29, 2014

Thankfulness for The Stage

It is no big secret. I am an attention whore.

Now, I’d like to think that I’m not too obnoxious, but I know better. I can be very obnoxious. But dangit, I have a fliptop head and talking is one of my strong suits, for good or ill. I love to tell my ridiculous stories, even my serious ones, and if I’m in front of an audience, be that my classroom, at a bbq or in a theater, I feed off of the energy from others.

I didn’t used to be like that. Yes, I’ve always been social and my love tank gets filled when I am around others, giving and taking in meaningful conversations. My mom told me one time that whenever she would be out with my sister Lora and I in our town square in the Americana town of Washington, Iowa, she would turn around to look for us and we’d be chit chatting with random strangers. I still do that, and I love it.

I also attract the weirdies, so there’s a downside to it. Sometimes I’m too damn nice, right Teresa?

One of the major blessings of Cancer is that I have been given the opportunity to stretch myself by getting to speak in front of others. I also think that being a teacher has given me the confidence I lacked to be able to be in front of others and share my heart. I always remind myself when I get nervous preparing to present something, emcee an event or chat on the radio that it ISN’T ABOUT ME. It is about the people listening to me, or the people that the event is supposed bless or the guest that I am interviewing. And while I say that I’m an attention whore and love being in front of others, when I get too wrapped up in how I look, what I sound like or how I portray myself, I’ve lost the purpose of my life: To love others.

While I need to think about myself, care for myself and even love myself, my life’s purpose is to love others. Everything about me, my experiences, my thoughts, my mistakes, my victories, my flaws… all of it… is without meaning if it doesn’t get used to love others.

I am thankful for The Stage. On it, I can look out and see people who want… no NEED… to be loved. And when I focus my performance, my words, and my HEART on the love that I have for others, I don’t need to worry about what I sound like, look like or portray. The love that I have been shown in so many ways gets poured out into the love tank of the souls who are listening.

Thank you, Cancer, for giving me The Stage. On it, I can love others.

Love, The Attention Whore With a Fliptop HeadfliptopHead

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