Day 122: May 2, 2014

Thankfulness for Hormones

Whew! Just… whew! What a week of Hormones in my house.

One pre-teen boy who likes to get his sisters’ goats. Two teenage daughters sharing one room. One forced-menopausal Crazy Mom with Chemo Brain. Under one roof… with ONE BATHROOM.

Tears. Fights. Emotional outbreaks. Drama. End of the year homework and project burdens for my wicked smart, self-pressured kids. Track practice. Basketball practice. Talking girls off of the emotional precipice. Makeup wars. “My hair looks horrible!” “Oh, I need to bring 3 veggie trays to the presentation [which is happening in 30 minutes].”

I am wiped out.

I have been cursing the Hormone gods all week, and I’m trying to figure out how to be thankful for them. I got nothin’. Brain too fried to think positively about them.

So, here’s what I DO have: I got to be really transparent with my girls this week about when I was a teen. How I felt. What I thought of myself. How mean I was to my mom. How my sister and I fought. Boys. Drama. “It’s going to be okay. You aren’t alone. I can’t change how you think about yourself, so I have to trust that you will get through this. But there are Truths that are real whether you believe them or not. Put a post-it reminder over your heart so you can look at it everyday. Hold on to those truths and tell yourself those truths over and over and over and over again, even if you don’t believe them. You are way ahead of the game. I am proud of you. You are beautiful. Boys are stupid. You are beautiful. People can be mean. Don’t let those words seep into your heart. Shield your heart with the truth. You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. Your love for others and their lives are amazing. You care, and that is going to get you through.”

I mean, how can I shield my kids from growing, feeling pain, being hurt, crying and all the other crappola that they will have to face?

I can’t. But I can be here and be real with them. I can tell them that I care. That I understand. That I wish I could take it all away and shelter them from it, but I can’t control their minds, their hearts… and I have to let them experience the Hormones, the changes, the pains, the small victories… and they have to figure out how to cope because I can’t. Do it. For them.

And then I think: I Get To Be Here. Right Now. To hug them. To listen. To see them grow. To love them despite their Crazy. They love ME despite MY Crazy! It’s called Indescribable Love. Sacrificial Love. And I am here with them. For them.

And I am happy to have their Hormones to be able to deal with.

Life is SO good. I am blessed because of them… and their Hormones.

Will someone PLEASE tell Thomas to stop nagging them, though? Someday… he will make one heck of a boyfriend and/or husband. He’s getting a lot of exposure to the Crazy. To the Hormones.

Poor kid.

Love, Hormones = Test of Indescribable LoveVintageTeenGirlsPunching

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