Day 119(a): April 29, 2014

Thankfulness for the Weaker Me?

I’m starting to feel that creeping depression that I have mentioned before. The beyond understanding depression that I experienced big time the last time with chemo.

It’s so strange that I am experiencing it, because really… my life is total awesomesauce. Truly. That’s why I know it’s that dark depression hovering in the corners of my mind that is from chemo. The irrational stuff. The unexplainable dimness. The desire to hole up and ignore life.

I feel like I need to say it here, because then I know people are looking out for me. Yes, I have times during the day of positive stuff. But it’s there. I feel it. I hate it. I really do. So… while there isn’t anything anyone can REALLY do to make things better, if you call and I pretend everything is super friggin’ fantabulous and perfect, question me, K? Make me some soup. Send me something funny to watch. Come over and turn me on my People Puddle so I don’t get bed sores. At the very least, give me a sponge bath.

And know that… the toughest part for me is lurking around the corner. I remember that time very clearly now. It’s knocking.

Love, The Softer, Weaker Side of EmilyHyperboleDepressionImage

 

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