Day 106: April 15, 2014

Thankfulness for the Word “Disequilibrium”

Weird word to some. But we all know what it is, even if we didn’t know there was a word for it.

Dixi Dougherty, one of my favoritest professors EVER, gave me that word. I had a tough time embracing it for awhile, but I’m sure glad I did.

Let me give you a little secret: It helps us grow.

It’s almost like a boost of fertilizer to the soil of our lives. If it’s too strong, we might wilt. If it’s too weak, we get stagnant.

It’s called Uncomfortableness to most, and if we accept it and allow it seep into the dry cracks of our thirsty spirit, it makes us beautiful. We can flourish.

It feels right to feel comfortable and balanced. To be with others of like mind. To be, say, such an expert at our jobs that we might even be able to do things in our sleep, and maybe even feel a little bit bored or impatient with others who don’t know what we know.

But when something upsets our scales, makes us teeter a bit, we might try to run from the thing that’s upsetting us. “Don’t make me feel non-confidendent or incompetent. NO! I won’t have it!”

[Yes, I’m aware that is totally grammatically unacceptable. Oh well.]

But then we remember: We’ve felt this before. We worked through it. And it made us better. The Universe provided this opportunity at disequilibrium in the past so we could get to This Point right now and work through it again.

And really, it’s how we truly learn and internalize life and new things the best. Lessons bloom. Wisdom grows.

Today, I got to talk to adults, my own peers who are just starting out in this brave and scary thing we call “teaching.” I’m certainly not an expert and others know more than I do. But my heart and experiences have been real in this short life of my teaching experience. I was blessed to share with them what I learned from Dixi, about the word “disequilibrium,” about my own experiences as a new teacher, about the students and staff at Rainshadow who were patient with me, about the mistakes I made and the good things that came from sticking with it. I told them to welcome disequilibrium. It’s what learning is all about. “Don’t be scared. And if you are, then that’s the thing that will make you grow. Welcome it.”

Drink it up. Get your soil fed. Fill in those dry cracks of your thirsty soul.

Thank you, Dixi Dougherty, for teaching me the ways of disequilibrium so that I could pass that on to my students, my kids and all of the people I have the honor of being a part of in person and even here, on The Book of Faces.

Love, I Ain’t SkeeredDrySoil

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