Everyday, I write in my tab called “365 Days of Thankfulness” as a unique way to document my journey with Colon Cancer. Below is today’s, March 11, 2014… one day before my actual birthday. Great. Chemo during my birthday. It’s not so bad when I have great love, amazing support and friends all around me. For that reason and many others, I am thankful for cancer.
Okay. Here’s what I wrote today:
One of the wedding gifts that Devon and I got so many years ago were a pair of mounted exotic and colorful butterflies encased in plexiglass. A gentleman runs a conservatory for butterflies and when they die, he sells them as art. They are so cool.
In fact, they are so cool that my amazing Kate declared that she wanted them willed to her when that time comes. She doesn’t want anything else.
(As an unrelated side note, both Kate and Maddie won the National History Day Projects for their categories. They get to go on to the next round. So proud of them. Their topics were AIDS and Its Affect on Human Civil Rights (Kate) and LGBT Human Civil Rights (Maddie). Okay, bragging over.)
Anyway, back to the butterflies.
I think one of the ways that people like me and people like you, who love live, live life and impact others, can make a seemingly bad scenario in our lives into a positive one, is that we see ourselves as caterpillars awaiting our transformation. What is happening in our lives is not the end of the world. It is a new beginning.
Cancer sucks. That’s certainly an aspect of it. No doubt.
But cancer is a path to an amazing transformation. I know that people die from cancer and there aren’t words to comfort people, ultimately. But I will be bold and say that even a death of someone with cancer is a chance for transformation. A new body/soul is made perfect in their transformation to the Other Side (if that is what you believe).
I truly hope those of you who have lost loved ones to cancer don’t feel as though I’m minimizing the reality of it.
But it is also a chance for an amazing life. Cancer can change your perspective about the importance of relationships and learning to be aware of the little things that we take for granted. It causes a person to live life to the fullest and to be able to be along side someone who is experiencing a medical crisis. This can happen both for the person experiencing cancer and the people who love them.
I feel like I’ve turned into a butterfly several times over. And I’m looking forward to my next butterfly birth when this bout with cancer is finished.
Thank you, all of you, for seeing me through this transformation. I love you. And, yes, Kate… the butterfly art is all yours. Right now. Because the life you are living and preparing for is going to make you a beautiful rainbow colored specimen.
Love, Emily the Transformer