Kiss My Big White Butt

That’s it.  I’m actually going to write a post with a little anger behind it.

Generally, I try to keep all of my posts super positive, as you can tell if you’ve ever read anything we’ve written here.  Our main goal with this blog is to encourage, but maybe through what I’m about to say, you will backhandedly be encouraged.

I’ve been receiving some negative feedback lately in comments and emails to Samesides about my changed stance on homosexuality.  It’s a super hot button right now, which is fine, but I think because our story is branching out into local and national publications, the trollers are starting to pick us up on their radar.

I’m learning to not get butt-hurt, which is tough for me because I’m a people-pleaser at heart.

I have heard in some form or another several times recently that our children appear happy, or that it’s fake happiness.  Apparently this is because Maddie, Kate and Thomas have two gay daddies and myself, a fairly recent Ally.  God’s Word has been used against us, sometimes in subtle ways that I know is written from the heart of people who probably really do care.  Other times, it’s been downright nasty and overtly judgmental.


And I mean “whatever” as in kiss my big white butt.

I’m sorry… Have you lived my life?  Have you talked with my children?  Has your husband or child ever come out of the closet?  If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then maybe we can have an adult conversation about this.  Otherwise, you don’t know what you’re talking about.  Period.

I’m guessing, if you don’t surround and shelter yourself with people who are exactly like you in every way, which is many people’s want, you know people who are in:

1) heterosexual marriages that are happy and healthy with amazing children.  Christian or not.

2) heterosexual marriages that are happy and healthy with screwed up kids. Christian or not.

3) single-parent families with children who are happy and healthy. Christian or not.

4) single-parent families with children who are royally screwed up. Christian or not.

5) same-sex parents with children who are happy and healthy. Christian or not.

6) same-sex parents with children who are royally screwed up. Christian or not.

7) divorced parents with children who are happy and healthy.  Christian or not.

8) divorced parents with children who are screwed up. Christian or not.

9) Do you get my point?  You should.  Otherwise, stop reading right now.  And don’t even bother commenting.  It’s my blog and I can block you and your comments forever and ever.  Amen.

I’m not even going to discuss gay marriage right now.  I don’t really care what anyone thinks of it, simply because why the hell does it matter if people do or don’t get married?  Let people get married if they want to.  Marriage ain’t easy, and divorce really sucks.  No matter who you are.  It can also be wonderful, so have at it.

And don’t give me that “brothers are going to start marrying brothers” or “men are going to start marrying little boys” thing.  That’s an argument?  Aren’t things legislated in this country?  That will NEVER pass.  It’s gross and everyone knows it.  If you think two men or two women together is gross, then that’s your own personal idea.  Don’t do it then.

As a side note, most pedophiles identify as heterosexual.  Case closed.

The Ward and June Cleaver thing.  It’s good.  Seriously.  I came from a great traditional home and I turned out awesome.  My parents are still together, love each other, love us, and it’s beautiful.

But so is my life now.  It’s beautiful.  My kids are turning out awesome.  And… they have two dads and me, Wonder Woman.

Will my kids make mistakes?  SURE.  I did.  Could my kids turn out royally screwed up?  I hope not, but they could.

But what does that have to do with our parental situation?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

So let’s just say it like it is, trollers.  You think being gay is wrong.  Perverse. Against God.  Going to hell.


As In, Kiss My Big White Butt,



This is my way of making a statement, with bacon, of course.


No Accidents

ChangeOfSeasonsWhelp.  Life just keeps coming at you, whether you will it or not.  The good and the not-so-good.

Devon is one busy dude.  He opened up his own law firm a few months ago and is his typical busy-body, OCD self.  Clients, finances, bills, calendaring, child support, maintaining a healthy relationship with Felipe… these are all things that can weigh him down.  Add three busy kids in the mix with places to go and things to do, and I feel for him.  But he keeps on going, most of the time with a smile on his face.  I am so proud of him.

His dad, Fred, took a turn for the worse last week.  Yesterday morning, March 23, 2013, “Fast Freddy”, the “Silver Fox,” passed peacefully in his home.  Family members were there, including myself, as a testimony to the love that they have for him.  Fred, you will be missed.

Talk about a lot going on.

To top things off, life brought us some good stuff, too.  The Huffington Post featured our family in their “Gay Voices” section on Friday!  It was such good timing for Devon.  What a blessing to be recognized and we are so proud of our Rainbow Family.  We are also sincerely humbled because without working through the tough stuff, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

Where are you today?  Are you going through some tough stuff?  While we write about amicable divorce and getting along with your ex, we know that it’s more than that.  Divorce is tough.  Dealing with the breakup of a family sucks no matter how you look at it.  But the stuff of life that we talk about is further reaching than that.

We want to encourage you to keep moving forward.  Or maybe you need to stay where you are in the moment and think and feel what you’re going through.  We encourage you to do that, too.

Just keep in mind that eventually you have the goal of moving forward, accepting what is and making the most of what you’ve been dealt.  Life will continue to keep coming at you, whether you will it or not.  Take what you’ve been given and use it to help others. If not right now, then eventually.

What is the purpose of our existence if not to touch others lives?  Fast Freddy did this.  Devon and I try to do this now.  Use what life has given you and give it purpose.  The Universe will respond.

We love you, Fred.

There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled. –Mark Twain

Fred A Okay

Everything’s gonna be okay. We love you, Fred.

Image at top of post taken from

Beautiful Woman


What a great month this is, especially TODAY.

Today I celebrate women.  Women who’ve made a difference in the lives of others and our society.  Women like Amelia Earhart, Dorthea Dix and Alice Paul.  I love learning about women in history.  There hasn’t been enough taught about females to people in our society, and those women serve as inspirations to my own daughters, who will be amazing leaders someday.

But it is the moms in this world who deserve some recognition today, not just on Mother’s Day.

I’m thinking of my own mom, of course.  Her name might not be written in historical documents, but who would I be today without her?  I mean, if it weren’t for her egg, her womb, her effort to push me out, her natural ability to feed me from her body, I wouldn’t be here today.  She taught me to persevere through difficulties… and let me tell you, I’ve had some of those.

When I was sobbing uncontrollably in the middle of the night in bed by myself last year, feeling terrified and alone after my cancer diagnosis, she heard me.  She came to my room, just like she did when I was little, curled up beside me and held me.  She showed her undying strength and love through her own ability as a mom to comfort her scared little girl.  Only moms know how to do that.  She held me for a long time.  My mom came to stay many times during chemo last year and was tender and attentive.  Just having her with me was enough to give me the strength I needed to make it through those horrible months.

I want my own kids to see me as a pillar of awesomeness in history.  When things get tough, I remember that they are watching.  Their own lives will be affected by my example, for good or ill, when they are adults.  I hope they see the good and accept my failings as human so they can emulate the positive things and accept themselves for their own failings because of my example.  This is why I push them to be real, as I try to be real and open, so that the things I stand for, like LGBT rights and serving others, will show them that they really can do anything.  This is why I write about my experiences with Devon coming out of the closet and my cancer, so they can have documentation of my strength and transparency.  Perseverance was taught to me by my own mother, and I intend to pass on that legacy to my kids.

So you, Beautiful Woman reading this:  Know that you are a part of history.  You are affecting future women with your strength, inner beauty and perseverence.  Celebrate with me as I tip my favorite derby hat to you and all women who make a difference in the lives of others.

You are a part of this special day and everyday.

Blessings, Emily


March is National Women’s History Month and today is set aside as International Women’s History Day, March 8, 2013.  Women are the shiznit.