Oh yes. I’m well aware that many divorces aren’t amicable. I get that, even though I’m an optimist.
If that’s the case, then why the hell would we even be doing this? Are Devon and I just Black Plague carrying rodents running on a treadmill wheel?
I’ll tell you why: because it’s possible. But it takes two to tango, as the adage goes.
What if one party wants life to be amicable but the other party is off their rocker? One card short of a full deck, if you will?
I was once a psycho bitch for a nano-second or two (in dog years). Thank the Maker that Devon kept his cool for the most part. I will give him credit for taking quite the beating. I’m not a small woman nor do I have a mousey voice. There’s a reason I was a basketball player, a coach and a P.E. teacher. I totally fit the profile of “Don’t F with this lady. She’ll rip you a new one.” People listen to me when I open my flip top head, dammit.
Plus, I’m no hobbit, even though my feet are as big and hairy as one. Being tall has its advantages. I tend to get respect because of my corn-fed Aryan heritage.
So with that, I will say that if one of you consistently keeps their cool—and I mean consistently as in it could take 2 years or more—then eventually it may all work out. It’s called being the bigger person. Don’t be a hobbit.
Devon, thanks for being the bigger person through your daily beatings. You may have deserved it, but it really helped me to come around. Now look where we are: we just got an article published through Reuters about amicable divorces!
I also will give myself some credit. While I vehemently expressed the feelings that swept over me many times (sometimes with a potty mouth that could rival Bobby Knight’s, including a few times after our divorce), I had a general goal to be amicable. That has to be noteworthy. I am proud of who I’ve become through this whole crazy Jerry Springer debacle.
I say this because I want to encourage you to stay strong by choosing a course of behavior and thinking that will potentially lead to a positive outcome. Keep up with our blog. We will always attempt to be supportive.
However, there are tons of other blogs out there worth reading that you will be able to relate to during your various processes. I would like to recommend one to you right here.
Mikalee Byerman resides in our hometown of Reno, Nevada. Not only is she an amazingly curt and humorous writer, she has had quite a journey of her own down the road of divorce and single parenting. She’s not afraid to say it like it is. You feel like you’re listening to Chelsea Handler and Dr. Laura all wrapped up into one. While our experience has been antithetical to hers, it may be someone you can relate to. If nothing else, her funny anecdotes will brighten your day. She’s really good at taking something awful and putting a quirky spin on it.
So don’t unfollow us (I’m begging you to “like” us and post our stuff of Facebook), but add her to your list of favorite bloggers. You won’t be sorry.
Find her here: http://mikaleebyerman.wordpress.com/
Mikalee, you simply owe me a drink as payment for this debt I’ve created. I’m glad to know you. You’re no hobbit. But, whatever.