Tips, hits, and quips

Loyal readers and fans (all 3),

Emily is on my arse every three minutes to post “something, anything” so here goes…

#1 — I am not an OCD calendar freak, I just like order and knowing that our kids are getting where they need to go.  This is hard in our two households because all three kids are renaissance cuties — they play or are involved in football, basketball (2 leagues), soccer (indoor and outdoor), softball (All-stars and recreational), tennis (soon to be added); choir, band, GT, SWAS, running club, personal training, writing, and underwater basket weaving.  I am certain I have left out 10-15 things they have going on but I have not consulted the calendar in 3.5 minutes so I am a bit off.  The calendar is updated 4-5 times a day and emailed to all involved.  Some days it is updated hourly, depending on what new sport is to be added or where they are traveling to next.  This is a part-time job which I frequently wish I was paid for or had a personal assistant to coordinate.  Alas, I did not win the lottery a few months back so I’m stuck with it.

I have tried several on-line calendaring programs without success — I think I need more control over the calendar and who adds what.  I don’t want Emily sneaking any down-time in there while I am not looking.  Plus, sometimes we have to be in three places at once and the calendar programs start sending error messages like — “Stop this madness, your children need a break!” and I just can’t let some computer Siri bullshit tell me what to do.

#2 — Do not see movies you know are going to be horrible just because you have nothing else to do and they are supposed to be “hits”.  I have seen only terrible movies of late.  The list includes “Dark Shadows” (walked out of that one and got a refund), Prometheus (spoiler alert – Lizbeth Salander gives herself an abortion / c-section and then fights her spawn), and Snow White and the Hunstman (Bella gets to see all the crazy shit in the universe).  Instead of wasting your time and money on this garbage you can read these brilliant blog posts.  And don’t get me started on “The Artist” which is the worst movie of all-time after “The Island of Dr. Moreau”.

#3 — Quip (a clever usually taunting remark) of the day.  Said by Thomas — “Dad, I have better abs than you”.  Yes son that is true, you workout 6-8 hours a day while I spend 6-8 hours a day calendaring.


6 thoughts on “Tips, hits, and quips

  1. My favorite “ab” quip: “I have a washboard stomach. It just has a lot of dirty laundry on it right now…” 😉

    • Ha-ha, Amy! Let me copy here the post that recently graced my timeline on Facebook about Thomas, The Ab King of Reno.

      “Interesting turn of events during our regular bedtime tuck-in routine: as I was praying with Thomas, like I have since he was a was a baby, we were thanking the Maker for our blessings. Right after I said: “…and we thank you for making Thomas with a kind heart and mind” he said: “and thanks for making me sexy and with great abs.” He was serious, too. Stop by, he’ll be here all week.”

      Really happened. I live a charmed life.

      Thanks for stopping by our blog, Amy.

  2. First off: I’m afraid Siri may quit — or at minimum demand hazard pay. DAMN, friend — that’s a lot of activities! Good thing you’re young and sprightly and NOT AT ALL an OCD calendar freak…

    Second: WELCOME to the world of blogging!!!! I’ve only been begging you to join me for, like, decades. But whatever. Better late than never.

    Third: Emily, it’s so nice to meet you officially, and I think we’ll be blogging BFFs for a long, long time.

    And finally: Congrats to you both. Even though you suck. Because you make me and my petty, snarky jabs at my ex look bad. But whatever.

    PS. I’ve decided I use “But whatever” too much. But whatever.

    • Mikalee, I am your young Padawan learner. Your Youngling, if you will. We will be sending MANY people your way, because let’s face it, the shit you blog about is totally true.

      But whatever.


    • Very funny. Since you’re my best friend, I’ll let your ridiculous comment slide this time. Oh, and great name, BTW. Just so everyone else knows, I refer to you as my Personal Midget. Blogging world, meet my craziest friend ever, Teresa M. Wood.

      Love you, Midget-

      P.S. Teresa… while I know you will be tempted to post super inappropriate stuff on here, because that’s how we roll, use restraint, or I’ll have to call DPS, and have them take little Wookie away from you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s